China's national football players see Red

The Peoples Republic of China's sports ministry has returned to Marxism-Leninism to seek to improve the performances of its national football teams. On Wednesday, China’s top players were treated to a two and a half hour Communist Party lecture on "using philosophical methods to widen perspective and enhance creativity during matches".

Li Jianhua, a senior professor at China’s Central Communist Party School, was invited by the ministry to Kunming, where the country’s top players are training at altitude for the 2007 men’s Asian Cup in South East Asia and the 2007 Women’s World Cup in Beijing.

"It’s a very good lesson. I suggested everybody attended," men’s team general manager Wei Shaohui told the Beijing News. However, one unnamed team member was not overly impressed. "He’s not bad," the player told the newspaper, "but we didn’t understand much of what he said."

Wei also said the men’s team had also been taken to see Zhang Yimou’s new $45 million martial arts film "Curse of the Golden Flower" to teach them "a sense of hegemony".